The Words I Never Say

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i see him walking down the hall i wanna talk, that's fucking all but then i remember you're around so i keep my eyes down on the ground i practice saying “hey” at night then lose my nerve when he's in sight it's stupid, yeah, i know it's true but i hate how much i think of you [pre-chorus] and maybe i'm jealous, maybe i'm mean maybe i hate what i wish i could be you get to call him, you get his time while i make up conversations in my mind i hate that she's the reason why i swallow every single “hi” i hate that i can't just be free to find out who he is to me i hate her, hate me, hate this game hate that i don't even know his brain i don't want war, i don't want a fight i just want one conversation tonight [Verse 2] you've got the title, i've got the doubt a thousand words i can't get out and everyone says, “just let it go” like letting go is all they know i know he's yours, i know the line but why's it feel like i lost what's mine? i never had him, that's the truth so why am i grieving something i never knew? maybe you're not even the enemy maybe the problem is inside of me maybe i don't hate you like i say i hate that fear keeps getting in my way i don't need him to belong to me i just want to know who he could be and if we never become anything at least let me say the words i mean [final chorus — громко, с гитарами] i hate that she's the reason why i keep my feelings locked inside i hate the girl i pretend to be when all i want is to just be me i hate her, hate me, hate this fear hate that i can't get near but maybe someday i'll finally see his girlfriend isn't what stands between him and me it's the words i never say and the chances i keep throwing away.